I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
