So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize