This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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