First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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