Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
well I can't set my house on fire every night
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
