I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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