Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
