I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
