Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
