"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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