Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
