I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
