Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
