You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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