mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
