I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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