yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
