I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
