Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
