i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
