Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
