Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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