Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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