Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
