I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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