Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
