I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
