Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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