you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
