apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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