I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
