Kiss
Puke
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
