she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
