This is not my ceiling
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
