her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
