watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize