I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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