There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
