After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
