Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
