Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
In America we eat man semen.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
