Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
