Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
