i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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