I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
