My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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