I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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