ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
