Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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