I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
