The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
