every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
