capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
