btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
