I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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